18 weeks

So it happened - twice this week actually.  Two strangers asked if I was pregnant.  I guess I'm at that point now despite denial that I maybe haven't gained that much weight and that my belly isn't a flashing beacon advertising a baby.  Someone recently told me that she wished I was enjoying my pregnancy more, and I was immediately struck with pangs of guilt for just feeling fat and crampy instead of euphoric.  At this point, though, I haven't felt the baby move and we don't know the sex yet, so fat and crampy is all I've got.

Pregnancy would seem one of the last unconquered female frontiers.  If a mommy-to-be doesn't embrace a certain level of fragility, if she drinks a cup of coffee in public, if she struggles with her body changing, and losing absolute control of her one human vessel, there must be something wrong with her.  So I drink coffee from the drive through, and I'm lucky enough to have a gym that fully supports me being there lifting more than 35 pounds, and I've decided that I can prevent some judgment by just saying that everything is fine.

In other, less bra-burning type news, I got baby bedding fabric in the mail this week!  The turquoise is for a fitted crib sheet, the green sheep is for the crib skirt, and the fabric on the left is the much anticipated "fox in the hen house" print for the bassinet...which I've decided needs to be repainted yellow.  I have recently started more sewing projects than I can count.  Nesting must be in full effect.

This is probably why I picked up two instructional books for crocheting, 3 skeins of yard, and a mix of needles.  Knitting wasn't something I could ever seem to master, so I thought that maybe crocheting would come more naturally.  It didn't, but that certainly didn't stop me from spending hours this evening in front of the TV trying to make sense of a piece of string and metal stick with very little progress.  If anyone wants to knit or crochet this baby blanket for me, I'll happily send all of the supplies.